Thirty

I’m thirty today! Woah.

I started writing this blogpost last year when I turned 29. Things were rapidly changing. Many of my friends got married. Others moved away. Suddenly, my idyllic world of having everyone I love within a 10-mile radius was dissipating. And it was FREAKING ME OUT.

Thirty is the year you think you’re supposed to have it figured out. When I was younger, I was sure that by thirty, I’d be wifed up + kid + dream job. L-O-L. Life don’t work that way.

In my teenage years, I wore all black and listened to My Chemical Romance unironically. I stayed away from my volatile home and found acceptance in restaurants, first as a waitress and then as a pastry cook. I learned to be different.

In college, I cooked full-time while double majoring while being in a relationship and still going to parties. I sold ice cream during summers and saved all my money to buy a KitchenAid. I learned how to hustle.

In my early twenties, I walked everywhere, cuz I didn’t have money to do much else. I got diagnosed with anemia and started monitoring my health. I ran a half marathon. I started this blog. I quit my first job. I learned to persist.

In my mid twenties, I broke up with someone I thought I would marry. I took my first solo trip to Paris. I got in and out of an abusive relationship. I swam Alcatraz. I ran a full marathon. I learned that life hurts.

In my late twenties, I quit tech and went back to Paris to study pastry. I began creative writing. I missed India more and more. I cooked Indian food for the first time. I fell in love. I went to Paris for a third time. I learned to channel my energy.

I could not have predicted my life to be this way. But here I am at thirty, still standing. I don’t have everything I want, but I have a lot of experiences to guide me into the next decade. And while I can’t really predict what it’ll look like, I can say that I want it to look something like this:

Tell stories through food and words.
Have more adventures in more places.
Build a life with the person I love.
Be a master of my time and energy.
Inspire others.
Find mentors.
Deepen friendships.
Keep learning.

In the wise words of Drake, it’s far from over.

And for all the other life lessons I picked up along the way in the last decade, I shared them below with some anecdotes:

• There is still room at the top.
• Pay less on rent and more on trips (you don’t need to have the best apartment right now).
• Stop straightening your hair so much (nobody cares).
• Keep in touch with the people who matter.
• You don’t need to work in a restaurant to be a chef (talents don’t go away).
• You don’t always need to be dating someone.
• Mornings are magical (sunrise hikes before work are still my favorite).
• You don’t need to let your past rule your future (you aren’t your parents).
• You cannot change people.
• Space from people is good (although also terrifying).
• Relationships are hard (always, all the time).
• Travel solo (this continues to be my most eye-opening experience).
• Save money (stop buying coffee).
• Anything can happen in Monopoly Deal.
• Related, Know your deal breakers, and just say no.
• Being right is not always important.
• You don’t owe a company anything (I’ve changed jobs often, but each time has been a promotion and a raise, which would not have happened by staying).
• It’s okay to own the parts of your culture you like and discard what you don’t.
• Call your parents (they miss you).
• Love is work (and worth the struggle).
• The hangovers do get worse after 25.
• Nobody has it all figured out.
• There some types of pain that you will never get over. So you will have to learn how to live with the hurt (bless up for therapy).
• There is so much more to the world than money (see: morning hikes).
• Get an electric toothbrush (jury is still out on flossing, tho).
• Milestones aren’t determined by how old you are.
• You are worthy of love.