Not going to lie to y’all—there has been a LOT of change happening lately.
I could write pages on the specifics. But the tldr is that for the past few weeks, it’s felt like my head and my heart have been transformed into emotional and tumultuous water balloons that are forebodingly filling up to the point of explosion. I’m not sure which one will burst first, and I have no idea what will happen if/when they do. In fact, I have no idea what the next month is going to look like at all.
Usually in times of change, we hold on to a choice few things (work, relationship, family) to keep us grounded. In my case, those pillars have all been upheaved. So I’m in a state of periodic panic and sadness.
To extract myself from the unfocused internet and the scattered shelves in my emotional library, I’ve been reading a lot. I came across this excerpt that I’ve been reading over and over again, to remind myself of what I need and to go after that in full, without guilt or hesitation. It’s easier said than done (as most things in life are), but it’s something. I wanted to share it with you guys:
Ask yourself what the most productive course of action would be for you in this moment. It might be a moment of unrelenting self-care. It might be some kind of discipline around training your mind to see yourself as an equal to your professional peers. It might be challenging yourself to interrupt your own self-rejection so that you can move towards more self-acceptance and accountability. Here self-hate is revealed as an altogether useless endeavor. Trapping us into corners that feel too limiting to be useful in. We all need permission to make the noble efforts that engender our growth, self-exploration and personal development. Give yourself the permission to find such spaces and let yourself expand in all the ways you can.
I asked myself and came up with this list of the little and not-so-little things I continue to love. I’d love to hear what’s on your lists lately as well that help you expand.
Cooking dinner with friends
Productive working Sundays
Going IN on an entire roast chicken
Bang trims (much needed)
Visiting Mexico City with my best friend
Twerk classes (it’s so fun, and I’m so terrible)
The unending support of my friends
My upcoming trip to PARIS in less than a week
This journal (seriously, this has changed my life)
The “This is: Drake” playlist on Spotify